Recipe: Dried-up and Gluten-free
So here is a pizza from Dr. Shar...
Shaer... well from anti-gluten people. What I love about these guys is that you know they must be the mortal
enemies of the
pro-flour group we profiled here recently. And of course, what better way to promote your cause
than to post a recipe for a bowel-friendly smiley face pizza that lacks that most dastardly of substances: the evil colon-clogging GLUTEN?
Smiley Face Pizza
“Who’s laugh is so jolly? To liven things up, you just need a few ingredients! A spicy, delicious pizza variation that you and your friends are guaranteed to enjoy!”
Ingredients:
1 Schär pizza shell, 1 can of tomatoes, 1 capsicum (bell pepper), 1 courgette (zucchini), 2 slices of salami, 2 slices of cheese , Salt and pepper
Method:
Preheat the oven to 250°C. (475°F. / Gasmark 9). Wash the vegetables. Finely chop the capsicum pepper. Season the canned or fresh tomatoes with salt and pepper and spread on the pizza shell. Garnish as desired with the cheese, the capsicum pepper, and the salami, and then place in the oven! After 15 minutes at 200°C. (400°F. / Gasmark 6), the smiles are guaranteed.
A few notes on this recipe...
First: We wouldn't be doing our job properly at Happy Happy Pizza if we didn't take the previous efforts of other hardworking pro-or-anti gluten
pizzas such as
this one which earned a 6/10. This pizza is nowhere near as tasty looking as the one by the Flour Advisory Board.
Second: this recipe calls for
SLICED CHEESE. Have you ever,
ever thought of putting sliced cheese on a pizza? The only
time using processed-style cheese on a pizza is acceptable is if it's a cheeseburger pizza or a philly cheesesteak pizza, and even then you're walking a fine line.
Also, they tell you to use a zucchini (courgette?) but look at that pizza! That's right, you have to get a whole zucchini just to take one measley slice for the nose. What a waste!
Now before you argue that it doesn't have to be a waste and you can just eat the zucchini, we at Happy Happy Pizza would not recommend filling up your tummy with watery, flavourless
vegetables when you could instead be filling up on tasty pizza. If you do insist on using the rest of the zucchini,
please use it as a pizza topping and cover it with cheese. Your taste buds will thank you.
Third: The pizza in the photo looks dried-up and nasty. Not to mention that they obviously added the bell pepper mouth and tomato slice eyes
after the pizza was baked. Adding toppings post-bake isn't entirely a no-no, but if you're going to do it your pizza should look better than this!
This gluten-free pizza earns a
3/10. It might be easy on you intestines, but I suspect if this this hard to look at that it probably
wouldn't taste very good, either. Our suggestion: if these Dr. Schar pizza crusts are available in your area, pick one up and show these
guys to to make a gluten-free smiley face pizza that looks
appetizing. If you do, let us know!
You can see the original recipe on the
Dr. Schar web site.